comedy
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BREXIT BENEFITS
It’s now a full five years since Cambridge Analytica voted for Britain to leave the EU, while the Tories were busy posting lies on the side of a bus. (Where’s a sodding replacement bus service when you need one?) In the interim, much has been made of plucky whiny Brits moaning about losing their livelihoods, Continue reading
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Best of TV and Radio in 2025
Postman Pat Join Pat on his exciting adventures delivering the post* up to three days a week when he’s not on strike. (Not Mondays or Saturdays. Or Fridays). * parcels only Homes Under the Hammer Discover how likely your property is to be repossessed by the building society this year. Shipping Forecast Scientific formula for Continue reading
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I Know What You Did Last Summer
Tired of appearing as extras in the 14-year long slasher movie from Tory House of Horror – You’ll cry, you’ll scream, you’ll die from malnutrition – British turkeys at last refrained from voting for Christmas and, somewhat fittingly (or so they thought) on 4th July, elected Labour to power at the General Election. Sadly, instead Continue reading
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The Royal Scam
(Knew if I kept at it long enough I’d be able to get in a Steely Dan album title somewhere) It’s only March, yet it’s already been a terrible year for the Royal Family: King Charles has cancer; Prince Andrew’s still alive; and a Mothers’ Day photo of the Princess of Wales and her children Continue reading
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What Not To Watch On TV In 2024
EMBARRASSING BODIES – The Post Office 900 former postmasters meet Postmodern Postman Pat, and have an uncomfortable discussion about their postmodernist experiences over the past 20 years, in which “reality”, “truth” and “humanity” were suspended in the pursuit of ideology to assert and maintain political and economic power, with no hope on the Horizon. Features Continue reading
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Shipping Forecast
And now the Tory Shipping Forecast, issued at one minute to midnight. There are warnings of gales in all areas, including regions previously considered safe. Immigration Rising Patience Falling Downing Street Squally, becoming turbulent ERG Extreme front, backing Braverman Sunak Weak, violent storm later Dowden, Keegan, Trott Fog North UK Shithole Cleverly Force 5, backing Continue reading
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It’s (Nearly) Behind You!
Yes, it’s Tory pantomime season again, back by minority demand,* now in its 13th Year, likely to be its last! Book early for fun and (illegal) frolics – though be advised you probably can’t afford the tickets, and there are no trains to get you there. Past productions include Puss in Jackboots, Robbing Hood, and Continue reading
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Christmas Crackers
It’s November, the midst of Christmas season, which in the UK runs from mid-August until 12.01am December 26th, at which point Easter eggs go on sale, meaning it must be Easter; one day we’re celebrating Jesus’ birth, the next, his ressurection from the dead. And they say a week is a long time in politics. Continue reading
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Pimp and Circumstance
Charles Philip Arthur George, the con-artist formerly known as Prince, displayed his magnanimity on Saturday – it was tucked into one of his jewel-encrusted cloaks – by graciously allowing plebs to stand for hours under incessant rain to watch him float past regally in one of his state carriages, on his way finally – after Continue reading
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Welcome To My World
You don’t have to be mad to work here, but it helps. Actually, scrub that. You do have to be mad to work here, but there isn’t any work. For you join me on Cuckoo Island, the only place on the planet where the inhabitants (the more cuckoo of them, at any rate) decided to Continue reading
About Me
Diane Messias is a comedy/drama writer and script consultant, who has spent the last 40 years trying to be funny.
Starting out in theatre, Diane subsequently joined the BBC as a Comedy producer/director, and has written for and worked with many household names (no, not Domestos). Her production credits include One Foot In The Grave and The News Quiz.
Diane also has extensive teaching experience – comedy writing, screenplay and playwriting, standup – most notably at Goldsmiths, University of London, the Screen & Film School, the Drama Studio, The Actors’ Centre, and ALRA.
You can find Diane on on Bluesky – https://bsky.app/profile/comedywriter.bsky.social
and on Twitter as @NiceEtoile
Also available for hire as a writer – please contact her at scriptwhizz@gmail.com
Please see About Me page for links to other blogs.
Notes From Cuckoo Island 