Notes From Cuckoo Island

EMBARRASSING BODIES – The Post Office

900 former postmasters meet Postmodern Postman Pat, and have an uncomfortable discussion about their postmodernist experiences over the past 20 years, in which “reality”, “truth” and “humanity” were suspended in the pursuit of ideology to assert and maintain political and economic power, with no hope on the Horizon.

Features unreliable narrators, paradox, often unrealistic and downright impossible plots, and – SPOILER ALERT – some very long jail sentences in Series 2. Hopefully.

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THE TRAITORS

A series spanning 8 long years, in which 48% EU Faithfuls were in no doubt right from the start of Epsiode 1 who the Brexit Traitors were, leaving 52% UK Brexiteers to work out for themselves by the bitter end they’d been sold a load of lies via Facebook and on the side of a bus. 

Features Boris Johnson, Michael Gove, Jacob Rees-Mogg, Dominic Cummings, David Frost, and entire Tory Cabinets.

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CASH IN THE ARCTIC

Rishi Sunak demonstrates through the issuing of new oil and gas drilling licences for the North Sea how there’s nothing on this earth that can’t be sold for a profit, until eventually there’s nothing on this earth.

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TOTAL WIPEOUT

Broadcast date tba, but sometime before January 2025. 

An hysterical knockout contest, in which the electorate race gleefully to the polls to get their own back on an unremitting 14-year assault course devised by the Tories, and laugh their heads off at the results.

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THE CROWN JEWELS

A dramatisation of King Charles’ history with his penis through the ages; from the early Tampon Days, to troubles with his prostrate, via inviting his subjects to prostrate themselves at his feet when he was being orbed and staffed by the Archbishop of Canterbury at his coronation.

King Charles’ Penis: Himself

Also starring Michael Ball and Dick Van Dyke

Organ music by Ivor Bigun

Directed by Gregory Pecker

Sponsored by Cockburns Port

NB: CONTAINS DISTRESSING SCENES

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SATURDAY KITCHEN

Join Matt Tebbutt and his guest chefs as they talk about what recipes they would be making if the programme budget could afford food.

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