Notes From Cuckoo Island

It’s been a full week since the shocking attack on Israeli civilians by the terrorist group, HAMAS, and the British media has, yet again, managed to tie itself in knots.

Of course, it’s not easy on any level to report such traumatic events, let alone with any kind of measured impartiality, as responsible journalism requires, but such is the outrage around the globe – about the appalling violence, about the historic conditions and abject hatred on each side which has fomented the violence – that even the most professionally objective journalism has been criticised for, well, being objective.

Which begs the question, is objectivity actually possible in this situation, and is it even appropriate?

The Conservative Government is lambasting the BBC for not labelling HAMAS – a group it has proscribed as ‘terrorist’ – ‘terrorists’. The BBC’s approach is set out by John Simpson, World Affairs Editor:-

‘The answer goes right back to the BBC’s founding principles.

Terrorism is a loaded word, which people use about an outfit they disapprove of morally. It’s simply not the BBC’s job to tell people who to support and who to condemn – who are the good guys and who are the bad guys.

We regularly point out that the British and other governments have condemned Hamas as a terrorist organisation, but that’s their business.”

Not sure that anyone (other than John Simpson, of course) can argue that “an outfit” which deliberately murders babies can from any standpoint be associated with the word ‘moral’, instead of being termed ‘terrorist’, but what do I know?

He goes on to write:

“And it’s always been like this in the BBC. During World War Two, BBC broadcasters were expressly told not to call the Nazis evil or wicked, even though we could and did call them ‘the enemy’”.

Personally, I find the idea of equating ‘evil’ and ‘wicked’ – both adjectives – with ‘terrorists’ – a noun, with a precise definition – nonsensical.

On a somewhat lighter note, having worked in political satire for four decades, you would expect me to have encountered not unrelated problems during my career.

At the time of the First Gulf War, I was given the Radio 4 satirical news show, Week Ending, to produce. This itself was something of an historical broadcasting event, as every other satirical news show in the country was immediately canned. Not quite sure why – there were a lot of headless chickens running around, I seem to recall – but I suppose networks looking for a get-out jumped on the six week pre-General Election purdah, during which UK reporting restrictions are strictly adhered to for the sake of rigid impartiality – strictures which also have consequences for satire, where we have to apportion an equal amount of time to lambasting all the major parties. But the then Controller of Radio 4, Michael Green, bravely stuck his neck out (and probably mine), and gave the green light for the run, the only proviso being that I gave him and the then Head of Comedy a private playback of each week’s episode before it went out on air.

The only thing I had to edit out for the duration of the entire series were two words in one particular sketch…when the Allies discovered a large, Iraqi Scud missile launcher was actually made out of cardboard, one of the writers wrote a very funny Blue Peter piece on how to build one at home:

‘…just take 4,796 toilet roll inserts, 385 packs of sticky-back plastic…’

Which two words? ‘Blue Peter’, in case a child was listening and thought we were being serious.

Nope, me neither.

I was permitted to leave in sketches about BBC war reporting being a tad underwhelming; this war was when CNN burnished its credentials by being present on the ground in Iraq, broadcasting live 24 hours a day through satellite linkups, with access to expert commentators, while the BBC journalist (in our sketch, at least) couldn’t see much through the fog – no, not from the bombs, but because the water was too hot in his hotel shower, leaving him to come home with a nasty war injury caused by slipping on the soap.

Meanwhile, pity Mark Austin last week, hosting Sky News live from Jerusalem, who had to suspend discussing the dire events in the Middle East to deliver the latest on a TV personality who was leaving a daytime show. It was effectively:

‘We interrupt this war to bring you breaking news on Holly Willoughby’.

(While John Simpson and the BBC consult Producer Guidelines, plainly Sky News operates according to its sister publication, Holly Willoughby Guidelines.)

Normally, it’s impossible to please all of the people all of the time, but during times of war and violent atrocity, it seems it’s impossible to please any of the people any of the time.

So perhaps we should stop trying, and just report the facts.

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